Thoughts on Captivating- Part 1 of 2

A few weeks ago, after a conversation with Pastor Chris, I made a commitment to finally get all the way through Captivating. Up to that point, I had heard a lot about the book, read the first few chapters, and set it aside. Not interested. I have to admit now that my conclusions were based less on what I thought of the book and more on what I was told about the book. Shame on me. This time around I picked up the book with every intention of getting all the way through, only this time I started reading through the eyes of a pastor. I'm halfway through. Here is what I've found so far:

- The book is about unveiling the mystery of a women's soul, something the authors boil down the a single question that all girls and women seek to answer: Am I lovely (beautiful, irreplaceable, delighted in)?
- They work from the premise that women are the crown of creation, but that, like all creation, we have fallen from what God had in mind when He created us. As a result, women are engaged in a quest to answer that question in whatever way possible.
- Although they don't ever state it explicitly, the presupposition seems to be that most women have experienced some sort of deep and lasting wound against their femininity that fuels their unhealthy quest for affirmation. This wound almost always comes from fathers.
- Men are generally reluctant to do what it takes to truly do battle for a woman's heart because of their own fear of not having what it takes to help her there.
- At the halfway point, the focus switches from the brokenness of a woman's soul to the hope they can have, introduced through (and founded on?) Isaiah 62:1-5 and Jeremiah 30:16-17.


Those are the basics of the book. And if I am being completely honest with myself, I am disappointed in the book, and trying not to be. Maybe if I tell you all what I am thinking you can help me wrestle with it. So, in the same fashion:

- I absolutely resonate with the fact that women are seeking an answer to the question, "Am I lovely?" Although, I think I would state it, "Am I loved?" Maybe that's splitting hairs though. I truly believe that if women were to examine their own hearts honestly and openly they would find that much of their lives centers around answering this question. I know it has been and still is true for me and the women closest to me.
- I really wrestle with the picture the authors paint of women as the crown of creation. I suppose I can see why they came to this conclusion seeing as Eve was God's last act of creation, but I'm just not sure you can separate God's creation of Eve from His creation of Adam. Genesis tells us that BOTH were created to reflect His image, what I understand to mean that BOTH are needed to help complete that image. Humans were the crown of God's creation, not just women. Though man and woman do reflect different aspects of God, both are highly and equally valued by the Creator. It all just felt a little to "female power" for my comfort.
- Is it true that most women grew up in unhealthy homes where mom and, especially, dad were neglectful or violent or absent physically and/or emotionally or in some ways abusive, and that this created in them deep wounds? My mom and dad certainly weren't perfect, but they went to every effort to make sure I knew that I was loved and valued for who I was, no matter what they were going through in their relationship. And at the end of the day I still went through a stage in my life where I had to answer the foundational question for myself. It seems to me like it doesn't much matter how great or how horrible your parents were. At some point every women is going to have to answer for herself, "Am I lovely?" and come to the realization that the only satisfactory answer comes from establishing their identity in Christ. When I finally understood this my life changed dramatically. And the rest of that reality is that I am marrying a man in 18 days who is not afraid to truly do battle for the protection of my heart, and I still have to work every day to make sure I am answering the question as a new creation in Christ instead of as a wife (almost) or pastor or 26-year-old female living in the 21st century.
- I can't touch the man issue. Like I said, I feel like I have found a man who isn't afraid to do battle on behalf of my heart...he NEVER let's me retreat! But, I don't know what goes on inside the mind of a man so I have nothing to say on the matter.
- Perhaps it is fair to say that this is the other big problem I have with this book...they consistently seem to be taking Scripture out of context. Isaiah 62 falls in a larger section about preparing for the Coming Glory of God in which the world is renewed. It applies to the restoration of the whole people of God to their intended glory when the fullness of the Kingdom of God arrives. At least that's how I read it. Sure, it makes sense when applied to the brokenness of women, who are a part of the whole people of God, but I'm not sure that's an entirely accurate reading. The same goes for the passage from Jeremiah. But regardless, as a woman, and a human, I am anxious for the day when God will completely heal my wounds and restore me to glory. But that day has not fully arrived and for now I must do battle against this world and the ways it tries to answer the question "Am I loved?" And let's face it- that isn't always easy and the promise of what is to come sometimes just doesn't cut it. And if those two passages are what the rest of the book is built upon, what in the world are all the supposedly helpless, wounded women supposed to do in the meantime??

So, there you have it. What I hope for when I see a Christian book about the women's soul is a picture of a woman who, despite whatever circumstances have filled her life, walks confidently as a new Creation in Christ and knows that that makes her lovely beyond all that is imaginable. Maybe Captivating will get there. For now the only it is doing for me is making me thankful for the (seemingly unusual) story that I carry with me and awakening me to the reality of injustices that may exist in the lives of those I see every week. That alone makes it a worthwhile read, but I will press on the end and see what happens.

Stay tuned for part 2!

What am I going to do?!

I had a conversation with a friend last week about why we seem to face some of the most monumental life changes at the most inopportune times. We never came to any satisfying conclusions. There inevitably comes a point when "God is teaching you to trust Him" gets a little old.

I can imagine Mary and Joseph likely had some of these same feelings when the angel of the Lord showed up (in a dream, no less!) and told him to high tail it to Egypt. They weren't a very well-off family, and they had a two year old, neither of which I can imagine makes traveling very easy. If I were part of that family, my response would have probably gone something like this- "Ya know, God, right now is not really the best time for a move. Jesus is in the 'terrible twos' and Egypt isn't exactly close! Besides, how would you like us to pay for such a journey?"

But before any of that ever became an issue, God had already provided the way...in the form of gold, frankincense and myrrh. In the Christmas stories we heard growing up, these gifts were delivered to Jesus as a baby by wise men who traveled from the east. But as we look a little closer at the story in the Book of Matthew, we find that the details have been condensed a bit. It likely took some time for these wise men from the east to prepare and make the journey, about two years. They arrive at the house of the little family with their gifts for Jesus just about the same time the family is called to move on out. Ironic? I think not.

God provided the gifts from the wise men exactly when they were needed. He provided what was needed, when it was needed in order that His plan set out at the beginning of all time might be accomplished. And He is still doing it today.

Sure, it would be easier for us if our needs were met a little sooner than the last minute. But, in those moments when you are panicking about how you're going to pay the bills, or eat, or make that crappy situation work, try to remember the truth we learn from the young family of Jesus- God always provides how and when needed in order for His greater plan to take place...and we are all a part of that plan!

Sweet Baby Jesus

Ahhh...day one. It felt good to dig back in to God's Word today. It's been a while.

I'm finding that one of the most common questions people ask is, "Where did you grow up?" I am convinced that this is because where we come from says a lot about who we are and where we are going. So, it makes sense (really from a number of perspectives) to begin getting to know Jesus by learning about where he came from. Today's adventure took me further in to the life of Jesus as a baby. And I was surprised at what I found.

For instance, when Jesus was born there were certain things he experienced for the very first time, like hunger and thirst and having to go to the bathroom.

It doesn't seem like those sorts of things should matter, but the more I thought about the question the more I realized how profound it all really is. God became man, and experienced the fullness of what man experienced. All too often I forget this and miss out on the greatest miracle of all time. The Creator of the Universe emptied himself of all his power and came to live as one of us. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords knowingly and willingly subjected himself to sinful humanity. Why? So that all creation, including me, would be redeemed from brokenness.

God becoming man...Is there any greater expression of love?

50 Days Starts Now

I have been confronted with the reality that I can no longer "just get by" in the area of discipleship. Too many conversations have taken place about it with too little action. If I am serious about wanting to help others follow Jesus, then it is time for me to get off my lazy behind and start following Jesus. The only thing stopping me is me.

So, today marks the start of something (re)new. It's not the first time I've endeavored to make this kind of commitment, but it is the first time I've done it this way. For the next 50 days, one day at a time, I am going to jump into getting to know Jesus with the help of all of you. And hopefully we can learn together what it means to answer the call of Jesus to follow Him.

Here's to day one...